Yesterday I went to the agency to make new polaroids and a new video for the website. The video that they always do and upload is actually the model walking towards the camera, in some sort of a backyard, stopping and turning both sides to show his/her profile and then walking back to the starting point. It's quite simple in fact. One thing bothered me, though, and I want to share it with you, together with my recent observations about the terrain I am being asked to walk on.
The thing is, I notice myself getting distracted when the pavement is not straight, or when there is a chair/table/hole/sniffy-dog-in-the-room/models to dodge!!! I know it sounds ridiculous, but I can't help it! Something inside me makes me feel uncomfortable... it's almost as if I'm afraid not to bump into that chair, or not to get my heel stuck in some "crack" on the floor. And also, on many occasions the client has a dog, and that dog is extremely curious and wants to sniff your shoes, or most often - follow you! Well..... excuse me, Mr. Dog... but I need to show my walk here! Countless times I have stepped on the poor creatures, because when I reach the end of the "catwalk" at the casting and stop to go back, I turn and find myself stepping on the animal! I am sorry... but dogs have no place at castings for shows! hahah... (I love dogs, for the record) So, when I think about it, no wonder I am stressed when I see a pet at the casting... But you might ask, how could I possibly step on a chair, when the chair is just sitting at it's place? Well.. I can't even explain it to myself, honestly... But I think it's an unconscious feeling of lack of space... that kind of holds me back from doing my best as far as walking comes. But, of course, I always put maximum effort. :-) Now, about the situation when there are many other girls in the same room, waiting their turn, watching you and mentally judging you... (sometimes verbally, too), it's also hard because you feel all the eyes on you, expectant of your failure, or at least hopeful of it. I know, I know, isn't it the models' job to be watched, especially at the shows? Well, yes, but it's different.. ! What is different? I don't know.. But at that moment when the client takes out the comp card, closes the book and says "Can you walk for us, please?" ..all I can think about are the other models, what they will think of my walk AND my look... because everything matters... judgement doesn't miss a thing, especially when jealousy and competition are involved... but about that some other time.
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| From my personal archive. A catwalk in Milan.... can you spot the hole?! |
Something else made an impression on me recently, though. When there is a mirror at the casting that you have to walk towards, you are able to observe yourself, and I find it 100x easier. I feel like I can adjust what I see to perfection, make it look exactly like all the top-model-walks I see on FTV. And ... guess what? It feels gooooood!!! :-) And if there is a long/wide/distinctive space designated for the casting walk, then I couldn't possibly ask for a better casting, and therefor it's super easy for me to show the best I am capable of.. hehehe... Well, most often none of the above is present, but I still try to block my mind from any distraction and focus on my walk, my expression, my pace, and hope to hear the client say "Can you try this on, please?", which my mind has gotten used to immediately translating into -> "Congratulations, you passed on to the second round! yey!"
Oh, and just in case you were wondering, I did like how I looked in the video that I did yesterday at the agency, regardless of the doubtfulness the uneven floor raised in me. I guess it's not that hard after all... All we have to do is to give a little push from inside, and every obstacle, be it conscious or unconscious, can be overcome!
With love,
*Sally*
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